Your Best Self
Why You Feel Behind - and why that’s actually a good thing.
Dec 5, 2025
Dec 5, 2025
Dec 5, 2025
Alex
Alex
Alex
Feeling behind isn't the bad thing you think it is
I'm sitting writing this in December - a time that we’re pulled unwillingly into reflecting on our year.
Our feeds are filled with 2025 year-in-review posts by people 5 years younger than us that have launched their own 6-figure business, got engaged or have been on 20 holidays (and counting)…
So we start to ask ourselves: what have I done? What have I ‘achieved’? Am I where I wanted to be?
The thoughts that arise in response to these are often uncomfortable. They leave us feeling behind.
But what if I told you that feeling behind isn’t a sign of failure - it’s actually a sign of your ambition?
It also shows that the way we're currently measuring our lives through comparison or arbitrary timelines is fundamentally flawed - but we can change that.
In this blog, I’m going to show you how feeling behind is a signal you can tap into - it's a piece of ‘data’ that tells you what you value. Then I’ll share how we can change your current comparative method of life into something more effective.
“The Gap” and your Core Beliefs.
Feeling ‘behind’ - and consequentially the low or self-deprecating thoughts that come with this - comes from the perceived “gap” between where we are now and where we want to be.
This gap feels BIG. That’s why it doesn’t lead to feelings of motivation - but rather demotivation and low self-esteem. It creates the thought of ‘why bother, when I’m so far away from that?’ - so we don’t move forward, we just stay stuck where we are.
What’s underlying this lack of motivation, is an unhelpful Core Belief.
A core belief is something that (often without realising it!) we believe about ourselves and our world. It’s a thought that has gone over and over in our brains so much that we no longer view it as a thought that may or may not be true, but a fact.
We all have these, but in this instance, the core belief underlying the The Gap is a negative one - for example “I am only worthy if I am productive” or “If I’m not successful by X age, I am a failure”.
Digital comparison often strengthens these core belief, with the stories of other people’s lives constantly streaming onto our feeds (the highlight reels front and centre). It’s the fuel on the fiery human tendency to compare.
Of course, what we don’t see is all of life’s trickier moments that happen in the background. The failures, the efforts, the disappointments, and unexpected tribulations.
So, not only are we comparing ourselves to a timeline that's not our own, but we're also comparing ourselves to a shiny, unrealistic version of what life really is.
Now we know the background behind why The Gap leaves us feeling so low, how can we reframe this?
How to make feeling behind your superpower.
Know that your feeling behind is a sign that you have VISION.
You have these thoughts because you’re ambitious. You know you want to push yourself, and achieve great things.
So don’t beat yourself up about these feelings - commend yourself for being the ambitious person that you are and know that you have a grand vision about what you want to do with your life.
The key to capitalising on this vision is breaking down the steps in between where you are now and where you want to be.
As opposed to thinking you have to jump, know that you can take steps all along the way to get there.
This brings me to my next point (!).
View your current point as your growth phase.
Did you know that bamboo grows underground for 5 years, before it shoots up into the world in just six weeks (?!).
This is you. You’re in your growth phase. You are doing the groundwork to get to where you want to be.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. And maybe sometimes it feels like you’re not getting anywhere.
But if you reframe the experiences you’re having now as learning opportunities and points that will amalgamate to bloom into the life you envision, you can trust that you’re on the right path.
You’re just growing your roots.
Key to this is accepting you have your own timeline - which leads to my final point.
Accept that there’s no such thing as the perfect timeline.
We’re lucky enough to live in a time where timelines have gone out the window.
The world of work has transformed.
We’re no longer expected to work in ‘traditional’ jobs and the 9-5, Monday-Friday office life is dwindling.
People are getting married later - or not at all (!).
And we can travel more easily and frequently than any other time in history.
So, all of these things contribute to the ‘traditional’ timeline diminishing.
YOU can create the timeline you want to. It’s yours to own and live - not anyone else’s.
My Coaching Experience - and what you can take from it.
Some of my clients initially came to coaching measuring themselves against this arbitrary timeline.
One coachee in particular stood out to me, because during a session he realised that he’d been measuring his life against the idea of what he thought the timeline of ‘success’ was - not actually what his view of it was.
It’s easy to compare ourselves to others. But when we start asking ourselves the questions about what really matters to us, while listening to ourselves more, we can begin to be empowered by our own terms.
So instead of viewing your year as a list of things you did or didn’t do - ask yourself:
What are 3 things I learned about myself this year?
ALL lessons count as progress - not just the things you can share on your Instagram feed.
By using the tools we’ve shared to reframe feeling behind, you can use your ambition and energy to be happy in your present place and fuel your new year into something amazing <3
Alex xxx
I'm sitting writing this in December - a time that we’re pulled unwillingly into reflecting on our year.
Our feeds are filled with 2025 year-in-review posts by people 5 years younger than us that have launched their own 6-figure business, got engaged or have been on 20 holidays (and counting)…
So we start to ask ourselves: what have I done? What have I ‘achieved’? Am I where I wanted to be?
The thoughts that arise in response to these are often uncomfortable. They leave us feeling behind.
But what if I told you that feeling behind isn’t a sign of failure - it’s actually a sign of your ambition?
It also shows that the way we're currently measuring our lives through comparison or arbitrary timelines is fundamentally flawed - but we can change that.
In this blog, I’m going to show you how feeling behind is a signal you can tap into - it's a piece of ‘data’ that tells you what you value. Then I’ll share how we can change your current comparative method of life into something more effective.
“The Gap” and your Core Beliefs.
Feeling ‘behind’ - and consequentially the low or self-deprecating thoughts that come with this - comes from the perceived “gap” between where we are now and where we want to be.
This gap feels BIG. That’s why it doesn’t lead to feelings of motivation - but rather demotivation and low self-esteem. It creates the thought of ‘why bother, when I’m so far away from that?’ - so we don’t move forward, we just stay stuck where we are.
What’s underlying this lack of motivation, is an unhelpful Core Belief.
A core belief is something that (often without realising it!) we believe about ourselves and our world. It’s a thought that has gone over and over in our brains so much that we no longer view it as a thought that may or may not be true, but a fact.
We all have these, but in this instance, the core belief underlying the The Gap is a negative one - for example “I am only worthy if I am productive” or “If I’m not successful by X age, I am a failure”.
Digital comparison often strengthens these core belief, with the stories of other people’s lives constantly streaming onto our feeds (the highlight reels front and centre). It’s the fuel on the fiery human tendency to compare.
Of course, what we don’t see is all of life’s trickier moments that happen in the background. The failures, the efforts, the disappointments, and unexpected tribulations.
So, not only are we comparing ourselves to a timeline that's not our own, but we're also comparing ourselves to a shiny, unrealistic version of what life really is.
Now we know the background behind why The Gap leaves us feeling so low, how can we reframe this?
How to make feeling behind your superpower.
Know that your feeling behind is a sign that you have VISION.
You have these thoughts because you’re ambitious. You know you want to push yourself, and achieve great things.
So don’t beat yourself up about these feelings - commend yourself for being the ambitious person that you are and know that you have a grand vision about what you want to do with your life.
The key to capitalising on this vision is breaking down the steps in between where you are now and where you want to be.
As opposed to thinking you have to jump, know that you can take steps all along the way to get there.
This brings me to my next point (!).
View your current point as your growth phase.
Did you know that bamboo grows underground for 5 years, before it shoots up into the world in just six weeks (?!).
This is you. You’re in your growth phase. You are doing the groundwork to get to where you want to be.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. And maybe sometimes it feels like you’re not getting anywhere.
But if you reframe the experiences you’re having now as learning opportunities and points that will amalgamate to bloom into the life you envision, you can trust that you’re on the right path.
You’re just growing your roots.
Key to this is accepting you have your own timeline - which leads to my final point.
Accept that there’s no such thing as the perfect timeline.
We’re lucky enough to live in a time where timelines have gone out the window.
The world of work has transformed.
We’re no longer expected to work in ‘traditional’ jobs and the 9-5, Monday-Friday office life is dwindling.
People are getting married later - or not at all (!).
And we can travel more easily and frequently than any other time in history.
So, all of these things contribute to the ‘traditional’ timeline diminishing.
YOU can create the timeline you want to. It’s yours to own and live - not anyone else’s.
My Coaching Experience - and what you can take from it.
Some of my clients initially came to coaching measuring themselves against this arbitrary timeline.
One coachee in particular stood out to me, because during a session he realised that he’d been measuring his life against the idea of what he thought the timeline of ‘success’ was - not actually what his view of it was.
It’s easy to compare ourselves to others. But when we start asking ourselves the questions about what really matters to us, while listening to ourselves more, we can begin to be empowered by our own terms.
So instead of viewing your year as a list of things you did or didn’t do - ask yourself:
What are 3 things I learned about myself this year?
ALL lessons count as progress - not just the things you can share on your Instagram feed.
By using the tools we’ve shared to reframe feeling behind, you can use your ambition and energy to be happy in your present place and fuel your new year into something amazing <3
Alex xxx
I'm sitting writing this in December - a time that we’re pulled unwillingly into reflecting on our year.
Our feeds are filled with 2025 year-in-review posts by people 5 years younger than us that have launched their own 6-figure business, got engaged or have been on 20 holidays (and counting)…
So we start to ask ourselves: what have I done? What have I ‘achieved’? Am I where I wanted to be?
The thoughts that arise in response to these are often uncomfortable. They leave us feeling behind.
But what if I told you that feeling behind isn’t a sign of failure - it’s actually a sign of your ambition?
It also shows that the way we're currently measuring our lives through comparison or arbitrary timelines is fundamentally flawed - but we can change that.
In this blog, I’m going to show you how feeling behind is a signal you can tap into - it's a piece of ‘data’ that tells you what you value. Then I’ll share how we can change your current comparative method of life into something more effective.
“The Gap” and your Core Beliefs.
Feeling ‘behind’ - and consequentially the low or self-deprecating thoughts that come with this - comes from the perceived “gap” between where we are now and where we want to be.
This gap feels BIG. That’s why it doesn’t lead to feelings of motivation - but rather demotivation and low self-esteem. It creates the thought of ‘why bother, when I’m so far away from that?’ - so we don’t move forward, we just stay stuck where we are.
What’s underlying this lack of motivation, is an unhelpful Core Belief.
A core belief is something that (often without realising it!) we believe about ourselves and our world. It’s a thought that has gone over and over in our brains so much that we no longer view it as a thought that may or may not be true, but a fact.
We all have these, but in this instance, the core belief underlying the The Gap is a negative one - for example “I am only worthy if I am productive” or “If I’m not successful by X age, I am a failure”.
Digital comparison often strengthens these core belief, with the stories of other people’s lives constantly streaming onto our feeds (the highlight reels front and centre). It’s the fuel on the fiery human tendency to compare.
Of course, what we don’t see is all of life’s trickier moments that happen in the background. The failures, the efforts, the disappointments, and unexpected tribulations.
So, not only are we comparing ourselves to a timeline that's not our own, but we're also comparing ourselves to a shiny, unrealistic version of what life really is.
Now we know the background behind why The Gap leaves us feeling so low, how can we reframe this?
How to make feeling behind your superpower.
Know that your feeling behind is a sign that you have VISION.
You have these thoughts because you’re ambitious. You know you want to push yourself, and achieve great things.
So don’t beat yourself up about these feelings - commend yourself for being the ambitious person that you are and know that you have a grand vision about what you want to do with your life.
The key to capitalising on this vision is breaking down the steps in between where you are now and where you want to be.
As opposed to thinking you have to jump, know that you can take steps all along the way to get there.
This brings me to my next point (!).
View your current point as your growth phase.
Did you know that bamboo grows underground for 5 years, before it shoots up into the world in just six weeks (?!).
This is you. You’re in your growth phase. You are doing the groundwork to get to where you want to be.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. And maybe sometimes it feels like you’re not getting anywhere.
But if you reframe the experiences you’re having now as learning opportunities and points that will amalgamate to bloom into the life you envision, you can trust that you’re on the right path.
You’re just growing your roots.
Key to this is accepting you have your own timeline - which leads to my final point.
Accept that there’s no such thing as the perfect timeline.
We’re lucky enough to live in a time where timelines have gone out the window.
The world of work has transformed.
We’re no longer expected to work in ‘traditional’ jobs and the 9-5, Monday-Friday office life is dwindling.
People are getting married later - or not at all (!).
And we can travel more easily and frequently than any other time in history.
So, all of these things contribute to the ‘traditional’ timeline diminishing.
YOU can create the timeline you want to. It’s yours to own and live - not anyone else’s.
My Coaching Experience - and what you can take from it.
Some of my clients initially came to coaching measuring themselves against this arbitrary timeline.
One coachee in particular stood out to me, because during a session he realised that he’d been measuring his life against the idea of what he thought the timeline of ‘success’ was - not actually what his view of it was.
It’s easy to compare ourselves to others. But when we start asking ourselves the questions about what really matters to us, while listening to ourselves more, we can begin to be empowered by our own terms.
So instead of viewing your year as a list of things you did or didn’t do - ask yourself:
What are 3 things I learned about myself this year?
ALL lessons count as progress - not just the things you can share on your Instagram feed.
By using the tools we’ve shared to reframe feeling behind, you can use your ambition and energy to be happy in your present place and fuel your new year into something amazing <3
Alex xxx